In the case of being unmotivated, it could be either or both factors at play—as in, you’re lacking the desire to act itself or you don’t have anything fueling your motivation. As licensed psychotherapist Jordan Dann, MFA, L.P., CIRT, explains to mbg, motivation in the context we’re speaking about is “the ability to mobilize toward what somebody wants.” And that motivation, as we’re all likely aware, is a necessary component in everything, from our careers to our health to our relationships. As far as external factors go, Dann notes there are “often good reasons for us not being motivated to do something,” and external pressures have a way of keeping us in a holding pattern. Those pressures can look like a number of things—from financial obligations to busy schedules to a stressful work environment. But aside from the more obvious external factors that could be quelling your motivation, it’s important to pay attention to the internal components, as well. Because the truth is, according to Dann, we can make shifts in our external environments, but we also have to identify how we’re subconsciously holding ourselves back. “Sometimes the things standing in the way of motivation are feelings, and usually those feelings are organized around fear, anxiety—you know, fear of exposure, or fear of being imperfect, or failing,” she explains. Whether it’s self-imposed productivity standards, shame, or fear, she says, “we can get to the emotional narrative or belief patterns that are part of what’s standing in the way of the motivation.” And these patterns often run deep. According to psychology expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., people tend to struggle with follow-through because they’re trying to exert power over themselves with rigid rules and internal criticism. “You are trying to force control over yourself in a way that likely won’t be too productive. This may set off an internal power struggle between the authoritative part of you that wants control, and the part of you that resists being controlled,” she writes. As Dann puts it, “The first starting place is getting really clear about what the goal, direction, habit, or behavioral change that someone wants is,” she says, adding to “get really specific about what that is and also what it will mean, the benefits, or the reasons for moving toward whatever that goal is.” “So the second part is to really identify what’s standing in the way, and even take responsibility for how you stop yourself from being motivated,” she says. “Once we can dispel those underlying belief structures or fears, then, motivation often takes care of itself.” And beyond the general “feel” of your physical environment, Dann notes that sometimes a chronic state of being unmotivated means you might need to reassess other factors that contribute to the day-to-day “feel” of your life, whether it’s your job or family obligations. Whether that means having a conversation at work about restructuring responsibilities, getting outside support from friends and family, or simply taking more mental health days, it’s about “finding a different environment where I can feel less taxed with my own resources of how I want to spend my life,” Dann says. Research even shows that things like getting quality sleep and having sufficient vitamin levels1 are associated with more motivation and mental vitality. Or take exercising, for example, which is associated with a number of mental health benefits2, including reducing anxiety, depression, and negative mood while improving self-esteem and cognitive function. The point is, if you keep coming up against motivation hurdles, it may be that you’re neglecting your baseline needs and would be best served to start there. “Often, resistance is unconscious. One way of becoming aware of the fact that you are resisting is to decide to notice yourself choosing to resist,” Paul explains. “Instead of trying not to be in resistance, continue to resist but do it consciously. Notice the consequences of the choice to resist.” Try making a point to write down your goal or affirmation a few times a day, or you can even try doing the so-called 369 method for manifestation if this sounds up your alley. You could even post on social media that you’re working toward a goal, if that’s your thing, with Dann noting having that extra accountability can be really helpful if you’re struggling to stay motivated. “When we bring someone into our process, when we get more support externally, then we move. It’s inevitable—it can’t not be because when we have another person inside of our process, movement happens,” she tells mbg. For each seemingly small thing you do, acknowledge that you did it and are one step closer to your goal. “When we only have the ultimate end goal in mind, if it’s too big a leap for our systems to organize around, making a path and really acknowledging any little stretch is so important,” says Dann, adding that negativity bias primes us to look for our deficiencies, even when we’re doing things right. “There’s a part of us that wants to move, and there’s a part of us that’s afraid of moving, right? And so the more we can befriend the protective part, the part of us that wants to keep us safe, the more we start to learn that well-intentioned part is actually protecting us against growth, which is what we need,” she explains.
